It’s officially Monday (kinda Sunday night 2 in the am) and I didn’t blog once last week… failure. I had said that I was going to at least blog once a week this year. So far I had done pretty good but now I have failed. I supposed if I wanted to be technical I could claim that I am sneaking this one in on time but that might be kinda lame. Oh well, lets keep the streak going… every week and this one counts for this past week!
I feel as though I have been tasting failure a decent amount lately and it makes me sick to my stomach. I failed today at something kinda important… I don’t want to talk about it. I fail pretty regularly at the disciplines I wish I had and I have been failing daily with my Lenten activities.
Lent has been a very valuable time for me the past 4 to 5 years. It started while I was in college, I went to a little catholic church on the edge of campus for an Ash Wednesday / Lent kickoff service, it really connected, I being to study, I took on some Lenten practices, I felt as if I grew in my relationship with God. Lent has been a very valuable time for me but this year it’s just been a big failure. Now I feel as though failure, in moderation, is ok and maybe even good to experience during your Lenten journey but this isn’t like the one or two stumbles along the way that remind you that your human and prone to fail in your pursuits unless God is your center, my failure has been constant and honestly I’ve just succumbed to it. I feel as though this Lent is a total bust.
With all that in mind I think there are lessons to be learned in our failures. And for the last couple week of this Lenten season I am going to spend some solid time with God hoping to find out some of things I need to learn through this experience and I’m going to open myself up to the things God want to do in my life as I reflect on my failures.
“Do not, O Lord withhold your mercy from me; let your steadfast love and your faithfulness keep me safe forever. For evils have encompassed me without number; my sins (failures) have overtaken me, until I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails me. “