What life could be like…

Ah yes, LIFE… today has been a “thinking” day. Do you ever have those? Those days when it seems like life is at a distance and you can see it like a picture on the wall or a show on the tele’? (I’m reading a European book, why not use the lingo). Some of these days life looks good and you smile, your standing in the sun. Some of these days life seems melancholy and really that just provokes more thoughts and you scratch your head and think some more, it’s as if you are looking out a widow into a rainy day. And then some of these days when you see your life as though you are a step back from it, things look dismal, depressing, sad at best. On those days you can’t tell if your just standing in the rain or crying, things just seem stormy.

Today is probably more of a melancholy day, a thinking day…

Top 5 albums for a melancholy day:
#5. Love is Hell, Ryan Adams
#4. Good Dog bad day, Over the Rhine
#3. Garden State Soundtrack, Various Artist
#2. Trouble, Ray Lamontage
#1. O, Damion Rice

I would give special mention to some tunes like, Teitur, Dashboard, Radio Head, some of Aqualung, the Smashing Pumpkins… the list goes on and on, then I ask myself, “Am I miserable because I listen to pop music or am I miserable so then I listen to pop music.” It’s a question of what comes first the music or the melancholy??? I think it’s a great question. And I trade in SB music (the above list) for Pop music…

I am currently reading the book High Fidelity (which you need to have read or watched to understand the question asked above), it’s really incredible (like I said, the quote above is from the book). I probably have a bias considering it’s also my #1 all time top favorite movie, so of course I am going to love the book. And the way everything connects to music and EVERYthing is filed into a top 5 list, I love it!!! And I relate to it!

So yea, it’s a great book, one that I highly relate to and would recommend to any single (approaching 30 or older) male who wants to read a book that they can identify with and in the end (the very end) be encouraged by.
But women, keep your hands off! It gives away to many of your  tortured mental memoirs. They would scar you if you read them and then realized, “wow, guys really think like that.” But yea, it’s a great read for the aging single male.

But yea, for me it makes me think of what life could be like in 5 years or so…

Warning --  Honesty below…

Today I was reading the section where Rob is sitting home alone on his birthday, he watched 3 mindless American action / comedy flicks. As he wallows in a good bit of self pity he realized how lonely life is at 35, now 36, alone with nothing better to do on his birthday then watch Naked Gun 2 ½, Robo Cop 3 and Terminator 2. (now that’s a bad day).

The funny thing is 3 years ago on my birthday I went to the theater, alone and watched  a movie, The Day After Tomorrow. I actually liked the movie but realize how depressing it is it to be sitting alone and watching a movie on your birthday.  The really funny thing is I watched that movie again last night -- alone. Kinda ironic, I thought, as I read about Rob’s birthday movie event. To say the least it got me thinking on this melancholy day.

So it just gets me thinking, are some guys just doomed to this kinda of life? Is there hope? Or is the cycle of single life (which is too depressing to get into -- read the book / watch the movie), is it just “meant” to be for some of us? It’s a question worth asking. I think some of us think that maybe we don’t deserve much else, or some of us think it’s a cycle we can’t get out of, or even better some of us think that maybe there just isn’t anybody who will put up with us. Who knows what guys think…  Guys I guess and most of the times it’s pretty scary. I guess at one point I have thought lots of different things, still do…

There is so  much stuff in this book that provokes my thoughts, that gets me thinking about my life and what it might look like when I am 35 going on 36. I wonder if I will be watching mindless movies on my 36th birthday by myself. I wonder if there is any hope for guys like Rob and guys like me?

Rob asks the question, “am I doomed to be left.”

Another great question. One I have asked more than once. I could list my top 5 all time most memorable break ups, that could get ugly and probably to messy. Maybe another, more depressing day.

But remember the end of the book, the very end does give a little bit of hope fellas, read away! It’s an amazing read!

Hoping these days…
~~Erik